Driving On The Continent: A Deafening Game Of High Speed Dodgeball

Daft Punk's new album 'Random Access Memories' is good, really good. I like it, and as far as I can tell so do most others in the UK. But if I thought we were enjoying their single 'Get Lucky' a little too much, I now know that their native France's obsession of the album is at a whole other level. Travelling through the country for just over 2 hours, I must have heard the song more than thrice on the radio. This was added to the fact it was playing in the service station we stopped at, as well as the headphones of a Frenchie we sat next to on the ferry crossing the Channel.

Anyone born with a soft, squishy organ between the walls of their skull, would surely be driven insane by this repetitive, ongoing brown nosing of 'Random Access Memories'. The Belgians seemed to agree with this, as they sat inches from the bumpers of cars in front. Initially this tailgating angered me, but then a moment of realisation helped me to sympathise with them. I came to the conclusion that they were only trying to hustle their way across France as quickly as possible, in order to escape this showering of high pitched Froggery and return to their hilly land of chocolate and very tight shorts.

There was a flaw to this Belgian driving style on the continent however; it did have a tendency to increase the odds of you suffering complete and catastrophic suspension failure. Driving inches off the bumper of the leading car removed any chance of seeing upcoming obstacles on the road. This was something we learned the hard way, but how were we to know that driving along European motorways was like playing dodgeball, except the balls are potholes and they're flying at you at 80mph? Playing suspension dodgeball with your vision shielded by the French Zafira you're now tailgating, was largely impossible. And it wasn't helped as we fought temptation to drive towards the trees as 'Get Lucky' was played yet again on French radio.

But even with all this, I still enjoyed my drive through France, the weather was lovely. Although next time I'm there I'll be packing the iPod, and I might need to get myself a 4x4 too, if I want to reduce the chances of losing a wheel.