What Top Gear's Reasonably Priced Car Taught Me About Kia

We've got it all wrong. We've been so far off the truth all this time. You see for years I have been in numerous pub discussions where the conversation has involved something along the lines of "if you drive a Kia, you drive a washing machine," or "Korea can't make cars." Well I've got news for you pub go'ers, Kia don't make washing machines, and Korea can make cars. I know because I've driven one, a special one. So special that it's been seen by tens of millions of people and met Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise. The Kia I'm talking about is the ex Top Gear Reasonably Priced Car, one of the 3 manual ones that know nothing outside of being thrashed ruthlessly on track by A list celebrities.

Well one sunny Thursday, it was my turn. I was given the keys to the world famous C'eed, which the Kia event girls told me was standard, barring a roll cage and bucket seats. So essentially, I was climbing into a 5 door hatchback that competes with the likes of the Ford's Focus and Vauxhall's Astra. Unsurprisingly then I didn't expect it to be much of a thrill, plus this was a Kia, the boring washing machine makers that don't make washing machines.

Now I had ridden in a 400bhp Evo X FQ400 earlier, plus I'd thrown my far quicker Clio hot hatch around the track all morning, but for some reason after just a few corners the car I loved driving the most, was the Kia. And this was strange, because if you were beside me in the C'eed, you'd see 3 fairly generous sized rear spaces for passengers, a full working selection of electronic luxuries including a radio, climate control and steering wheel buttons, and that impossibly unsporty Kia badge staring me in the face. 

Yet as I flicked the car into the flat out banked left of the Rockingham straight, the car felt nimble and eager. The engine didn't provide tonnes of neck snatching power, far from it actually, but it was more than happy to rev freely all the way to just shy of a cheeky 7000rpm. And the nose, what a nose. The C'eed was one of the most compliant and nose happy cars I had ever driven, with every turn of the wheel seeing the front point sharply at the apex like an excited puppy jumping at a thrown stick. The rear was more than happy to just about hang on, seeing me 4 wheel drift a 5 door family hatchback through Rockingham's high speed turns, with unbelievable commitment and the biggest grin on my face.

What was I experiencing, why was this happening? How could this car be so happy away from what I thought would be its comfort zone, parked outside an OAPs house? I still don't fully have the answers for that, but I do know that I have now completely changed my opinion of Kia. The chuckable car, the chatty event girls and the lack of washing machines in the line up all tell me one thing, Kia is a modern, fun car maker with high ambitions set towards taking on more established European brands. They're so set on doing this, they're prepared to offer their brand new cars to Top Gear with inevitable deathly fates awaiting them. Who can forget the Kia bloodbath at Twickenham only a couple of seasons ago? It made the Kia girls very sad, as they stood on the sidelines and watched their "babies" being smashed to bits. But full credit to Kia, they do it all in the name of good fun. 

And it's doing wonders for the brand, because people like me step out of their Reasonably Price C'eed and say "Can I have another go?" What a great thing for a manufacturer to hear about their car. Plus with the sportier ProCeed now on sale, Kia have firmly entered the hot hatch market competing against far more established European and Asian names. 

So yeah this brand Kia, they don't make washing machines apparently, but they're up for a bit of a laugh and make some pretty fun cars. Not what you expected right?

If you fancy grimacing at some awful commentary, as well as giggling at some interesting shots of my knees, here's my onboard footage from Rockingham where I sampled the ex Top Gear Kia at racing speeds.

Onboard at Rockingham Raceway

Yesterday I attended the Guild of Motoring Writers Big Day Out at Rockingham Raceway. It was a fantastic day out where I was able to meet several very inspirational journalists and car geeks, plus I was able to thrash my little 182 around what is one of the UK's fastest racing circuits.

A great thing about this day though, was that I was also able to sample some other cars, including the 2013 Fiesta ST and even the Reasonably Priced Kia from Top Gear. All videos and write ups for those are soon to follow. 

But for now here's a couple of laps onboard my Clio. Such a shame the Go Pro ran out of battery when I remembered how to drive after these laps...

Toll Roads Could Save Your Ass

I don't think there any other times I've felt my body wants to dismember itself more, than when I'm in the car. I know for certain my dad never wanted to rip his ears off his head when driving at my age, yet time and time again Pitbull decides to release another belter or rhyme Kodak with Kodak, and my ears want to head skyward when it's played on the car radio. It's not just my ears either, my legs want to fall off and run away at least twice a day as I sit in suburban London's permanent traffic jam. And my eyes want to melt themselves as they observe driving that wouldn't look out of place in Arena Essex Raceway.

Unfortunately for me though, without sounding like I spend my Friday night's sniffing poppers in G.A.Y, it's my buttocks that take the biggest pounding behind the wheel. Thanks to those city bankers playing monopoly with our money, it seems there now isn't enough cash to fix the jigsaw that is our roads. So as a result us motorists are driving on tarmac more broken than Pete Burn's face. And it hurts.

But over the past couple of weeks I've had time for the butt bruises to heal and the shattered spine to repair itself, all thanks to the European continent's toll roads. These smooth, pothole free roads are more well kept that Alan Titchmarsh's rose bushes, and happily ferry traffic as dense as the M1's between mountains and cities alike. It's all because they're funded through the evil method of tolling.

I hate tolls, why should I have to pay to drive along a motorway, when in this day and age it's as much of a right to freedom to jump behind the wheel of a car, as it is to stick on your trainers and walk down the street? You don't pay a charge to walk into busy areas of pedestrians, so why should you to access the black stuff? Well if I'm honest, as much as this mentality is still essentially mine even after seeing the greener grass of French and Spanish motorways, I am beginning to think otherwise ever so slightly. 

During my long distance drive on the continent between France's Calais and the Costa Blanca of Spain, I think we encountered about three potholes on our entire motorway journey. Bloody three, across about 1000miles. I'd encounter that many across about 3 foot in Britain for crying out loud, so I'm sure you'll agree that what I'm about to say is at least worth thinking about.

We should bring tolls to Britain.

Take it in, breath, and take it in again. Now hold all those 'not in my back yard' thoughts and just hear me out. We could at least begin to fix the crumbling roads of Britain, with small charges that are capped and entirely distance dependant. So driving from London to Leeds up the M1 could see you paying a maximum of say, £18. Would that drastically alter your day? The fact most people won't be making that sort of journey more than a few times a year, and in many cases they'd be driving a shiny German saloon for the trip, that 18 quid wouldn't change a thing. And for shorter journeys, say a couple of junctions of the M62 for example, you wouldn't be paying more than a few pence.

It might seem drastic, and another way for us to part with cash in order to clean up the government's mess, but if we were able to ensure this money was used solely to improve and maintain roads, I think more people would be interested than you might think. For starters, better roads would save millions on car repairs relating to road damage each year. And if the current system of road funding remained in place, we could ensure the toll cash didn't act as a source of saving for the government.

So essentially this system would see road improvements, probably less dreaded Sunday drivers and reduced suspension damage costs, all for a few quid a week. And it certainly looks as though at the current rate, buckled wheels will become a common place in car ownership with the volume of potholes we have to drive over. So in order to avoid a future of square wheels and black and blue bums, surely road tolling could serve as a quick and effective fix?

Please feel free to tweet me, email or comment with your thoughts. Alternatively, when sending letter bombs please make sure they are correctly weighted and stamped.

Go Forth and Buy British..Or Don't

Recently I left London for a driving holiday with my family. This doesn't however, mean we went on holiday with the sole purpose of driving, rather that the car was our source of transportation. Strange I suppose, since you wouldn't call a normal holiday a flying holiday. But just roll with me on this..

So anyway we were driving towards our destination, the big plot of land home to afternoon naps and bright red Brits called Spain, and I noticed quite a few things on our way. First of all, I noticed how France's motorways are a giant rip off, with toll station clerks seemingly making up the biggest number they could think of when charging us for using their tarmac. And secondly, I noticed that Europeans love to drive cars from their own countries.

Passing through France, the roads were awash with Peugeots, Renaults and Citroens. As we entered Spain, suddenly the roads were covered in a sprinkling of Seats. And of course the tourist infested Costa Blanca was full of neighbouring European countrymen, from BMW driving Germans to Alfa Romeo driving Italians. It seemed despite us being united as a continent, Europeans really like to drive their own.

Except us Brits however. British drivers instead were driving a mixture of all of the aforementioned cars, plus a mixture of Japanese motors that meant it was impossible to spot a British driven car. The only signs of a British pilot were a GB sticker on the bootlid, or the screams of crashing Europeans being blinded by headlights angled at oncoming traffic.

So with this in mind, I began to consider how maybe we should be proud of our ability to choose a car based on its ability to perform as one, rather than the origins of its badge. Of how us Brits are beyond nationalism and embracing a more united world.

But then I saw an orange McLaren MP4-12C with GB plates roll down the Spanish motorway, and all that changed instantly. A car built just outside of London in leafy Woking, designed and engineered by the best in the business and built by the sort of men who don't drink coffee or sip on wine, but rather who go to the pub and down a couple of pints and eat pies, this car at that moment was more than just a performance vehicle to me. It was the ultimate representation of Britain in and amongst those Alfas and Beemers. 

So there and then I made a decision. I love my little French hot hatch, but for my next car I would happily buy British. I wouldn't go so far as choosing a car that is rubbish just because it's been welded together on Old Blighty, but I would certainly feel an added sense of pleasure knowing I'm driving something someone called Gavin could have made. Thankfully that forces me to reopen the tabs of my TVR searches on Autotrader, and means I should start drinking more beer and stop thinking about getting a chest wax.

Now this isn't to say that our European neighbour's cars aren't great, in many cases they're fantastic. But as a nation once heading the automotive world, our car industry is now comparatively tiny. Lots of cars are made here, but cars of entirely British origin are few and far between the slightly German Bentleys and foreign funded Lotus'. Very few cars are made in Britain that don't at least see one Asian, American or European executive make an influential decision. And this makes me sad.

So I say Britons, don't go so far as to being a nationalistic ass who rejects people from abroad, but do be proud of what we can achieve on this tiny little island. We may not produce them in such volume anymore, but what cars we do contribute to the automotive industry are all generally bloody good. Go forth and buy as many McLarens, Nobles and when they start making them again, TVRs as you can. It's the only way we can help to rebuild what could so easily have been a thriving British car industry. 

But then again, that 458 Ferrari does sound lovely. And those AMG Blacks are sexy as hell. They do say TVRs break down a lot as well; plus my little Renaultsport is as characterful a hot hatch I've ever driven. And my goodness Spanish girls are gorgeous too. Maybe I should hold onto that pro British thought for a bit longer then, maybe Europe ain't so bad..