I don't think there any other times I've felt my body wants to dismember itself more, than when I'm in the car. I know for certain my dad never wanted to rip his ears off his head when driving at my age, yet time and time again Pitbull decides to release another belter or rhyme Kodak with Kodak, and my ears want to head skyward when it's played on the car radio. It's not just my ears either, my legs want to fall off and run away at least twice a day as I sit in suburban London's permanent traffic jam. And my eyes want to melt themselves as they observe driving that wouldn't look out of place in Arena Essex Raceway.
Unfortunately for me though, without sounding like I spend my Friday night's sniffing poppers in G.A.Y, it's my buttocks that take the biggest pounding behind the wheel. Thanks to those city bankers playing monopoly with our money, it seems there now isn't enough cash to fix the jigsaw that is our roads. So as a result us motorists are driving on tarmac more broken than Pete Burn's face. And it hurts.
But over the past couple of weeks I've had time for the butt bruises to heal and the shattered spine to repair itself, all thanks to the European continent's toll roads. These smooth, pothole free roads are more well kept that Alan Titchmarsh's rose bushes, and happily ferry traffic as dense as the M1's between mountains and cities alike. It's all because they're funded through the evil method of tolling.
I hate tolls, why should I have to pay to drive along a motorway, when in this day and age it's as much of a right to freedom to jump behind the wheel of a car, as it is to stick on your trainers and walk down the street? You don't pay a charge to walk into busy areas of pedestrians, so why should you to access the black stuff? Well if I'm honest, as much as this mentality is still essentially mine even after seeing the greener grass of French and Spanish motorways, I am beginning to think otherwise ever so slightly.
During my long distance drive on the continent between France's Calais and the Costa Blanca of Spain, I think we encountered about three potholes on our entire motorway journey. Bloody three, across about 1000miles. I'd encounter that many across about 3 foot in Britain for crying out loud, so I'm sure you'll agree that what I'm about to say is at least worth thinking about.
We should bring tolls to Britain.
Take it in, breath, and take it in again. Now hold all those 'not in my back yard' thoughts and just hear me out. We could at least begin to fix the crumbling roads of Britain, with small charges that are capped and entirely distance dependant. So driving from London to Leeds up the M1 could see you paying a maximum of say, £18. Would that drastically alter your day? The fact most people won't be making that sort of journey more than a few times a year, and in many cases they'd be driving a shiny German saloon for the trip, that 18 quid wouldn't change a thing. And for shorter journeys, say a couple of junctions of the M62 for example, you wouldn't be paying more than a few pence.
It might seem drastic, and another way for us to part with cash in order to clean up the government's mess, but if we were able to ensure this money was used solely to improve and maintain roads, I think more people would be interested than you might think. For starters, better roads would save millions on car repairs relating to road damage each year. And if the current system of road funding remained in place, we could ensure the toll cash didn't act as a source of saving for the government.
So essentially this system would see road improvements, probably less dreaded Sunday drivers and reduced suspension damage costs, all for a few quid a week. And it certainly looks as though at the current rate, buckled wheels will become a common place in car ownership with the volume of potholes we have to drive over. So in order to avoid a future of square wheels and black and blue bums, surely road tolling could serve as a quick and effective fix?
Please feel free to tweet me, email or comment with your thoughts. Alternatively, when sending letter bombs please make sure they are correctly weighted and stamped.
No comments:
Post a Comment