The Unfair Tarnishing Of Young Drivers

Young drivers are often labelled as the heavy footed bane of British roads, but are the country’s newest peddlers really the most dangerous behind the wheel?

A 1.2 hatchback that costs grandma a hundred quid or so to insure, can cost a teenager a number of Pounds that many might not know existed. But this is outrageous, how can gran, a nearly blind, repetitive bag of wrinkles with the reaction times of an iceberg, be cheaper to insure than a fit and sprightly youngster? Who says OAPs are less dangerous?

As a 20 something year old who's enjoyed five glorious years of mobility thanks to a shiny pink plastic card, I've had to face nonstop nagging, abuse as a 'boy racer' and being labelled a general nuisance behind the wheel. But I don't deserve any of this. I've never crashed, yet I've had more near misses than Tim Henman's Wimbledon campaigns. Like most new drivers, I was very enthusiastic behind the wheel; but I've never collected another car and always check my mirrors.

The same cannot be said for old nan, however. How can she check her mirrors when her nose is pressed against the windscreen, as she squints to see further than her own car's headlights? She can't. And that's why she clips kerbs, crosses lanes unintentionally and runs over women and children on a weekly basis. Nan causes crashes all the time.

If a teenager causes a crash, most likely he or she will have collected one other car during the uncontrolled high speed slide into a field, breaking the front bumper on their Corsa but most damagingly, shattering their pride. Everyone will know about it, their insurers will know about it and as a result increase their premiums by one million Pounds.

If an OAP causes a crash however, they drive home and switch on Countdown, with absolutely no knowledge of the trail of destruction resembling Godzilla's footsteps they've left behind them. Old people cause crashes all the time, but nobody knows it. So Mr insurance company keeps on providing them with reduced premiums.

But as we know this is massively wrong. Yes young drivers are generally fitted with a heavy right foot, and yes young drivers will most likely experience a 'tail slide' at least twice per journey to Asda, but most times young drivers won't crash. Young people's near miss to crash ratio is therefore fairly good. Old people's are not; there is no such thing as a near miss with an OAP, only a crash.

So how do we fix the problem? How do we balance out the unfair insurance premiums experienced by youngsters and OAPs of Britain? By going back to our primary school roots, and telling. Even if it's your own nan or granddad, even if the car is their only source of transport, each time they have a bump or end up coming home with three school kids under the wheel arch, tell on them. Call their insurer and say my nan has crashed again. Within days the UK's insurers will no doubt be inundated with claims of OAP related crashes they hadn't expected. Those graphs they like to draw with young driver crash rates, will begin to be dwarfed by the wake of OAP destruction.

So I say young drivers of Britain, this is our only option, our only hope that the eyes of insurers and general public will open to the carnage old people cause on the roads. Only if you tell can we then expect this unfair tarnishing of young drivers as the UK's most dangerous, to be shifted to its rightful owners. Old age pensioners.